It takes a lot to live this way. I have to not only put up with a life of studying human emotion because I am unable to sense them myself, but I must also eradicate the emotions of those around me, my patients, through the lengthy process of Purification. What I cannot produce, I am forced into taking from those around me, and their sorrowful, joyous and aggravated thoughts swirl around inside my brain like a witch’s evil cauldron, and they are never appeased by normal means. I am forced to turn to the supernatural, the spirits, and more precisely, the Angelic Army to free me from these horrible things we call emotions. I consider my inability to feel, a blessing from those above, and this is the thanks I must give. I simply must relax. Lie down in a comfortable position that must never change or vary, and the thoughts will drain from my mind as the benevolent spirits feed on them, releasing me from not my own, but everyone else’s strife and suffering. Being the school psychiatrist makes me feel good, knowing I’m helping others, but in return I take the brunt of their stress, nerves and pain. I simply must relax. But it isn’t easy today…
I lay lazily in bed, ignoring the ringing phone screaming at me like a 5 year old girl, and rolled over to face the mirror next to my bed. My hair was ruffled and puffy, like a lion’s silver mane, and my eyes were half open, covered in sleep and a few loose eyelashes. Had I left them in last night? Though blanketed by sleep, I wiped my hands across my eyes, feeling around for my eyelashes ,and grabbed hold of the thin, sleek hairs between my stumpy yet tender fingers and readied myself to yank them away from my eyes, but my phone began ringing again, ever louder than before, and I accidentally puled too early on my weak eyelids.
“Ah!” I yelped, as I realised my grip was firm, but on the eyelashes on my bottom eyelid, and pulling those hurt quite a bit more than the average injury. I rubbed my eyes, now fully awake and rolled lazily out of bed, slumped on the soft, pink carpet as I landed. My nose landed on my phone, which for some reason was on the floor and answered the incoming call from, who? I couldn’t really read in the moment. “Hello?” I snored, holding myself up with all my might.
“You know it’s quarter to seven, right? You’re normally out by half past, so I wanted to see if you were OK.” Sounded like Nethermedys Lamia, my friend who was a year younger than myself, who always called when I was even a little late.
“Yeah, I must’a overslept… I’ll be right down… “I replied as I hung up the call, forcing my mind to snap out of it’s sleep-induced trance, and draped some clothes over myself sleepily. It seemed like the usual would do, a magnolia white silk shirt, skin tight, short sleeved, and some identically coloured lace gloves, measuring the entire length of my arm in length. I put on a bone white pleated miniskirt, which was hand made for me by my grandfather, a tailor who fell into a coma not long ago. Lastly, I wore some black silky stockings and pearl white espadrilles, and I rushed downstairs so as to not be late.
“Mitsuna, honey, don’t you want breakfast?” My mother asked as I rushed past, and I opened the front door and shouted back:
“No thanks, I might be late!” I shut the front door, and saw Nethermedys waving to me from beyond the hedge fence my dad had recently trimmed down.
I hurried to the front gate, so as to not waste more time than I already had, and took my hairbrush and hairbands from my school bag.
“You ok?” She asked, looking like I’d just turned into a zombie.
“Yeah, just overslept is all…” I replied, brushing my coarse hair back to it’s silky, straightened goodness.
“You’re hopeless.” She said, looking down at my skirt, which happened to be rather loose and revealing, almost to an embarrassing point.
“Huh? Oh no!” I looked around hastily, hoping no boys were around, unable to fix this dilemma while I was brushing my hair. “You mind covering me while I sort myself out, Medys?” I asked pitifully, and she looked at me with embarrassment.
“We have to get to school, though…”, and as she said this, I felt a pair of hands feeling the area around my waist haphazardly, though I couldn’t see who due to the hair in my face.
“Hey, cut it out!” I yelled angrily, though to no avail; the hands kept on doing whatever they were doing, and my hair was pushed out of the way by a familiar face.
“Your skirt was loose_ so I fixed it!” She said, smiling innocently, her voice afflicted by something she refused to talk about. I pushed my hair into their usual thin pigtails and quickly tied them in place with my hairbands.
“Ah, thanks Lunokuni… I thought it was a stranger…” I apologised to her for yelling, before Medys practically pulled us both to school, yelling:
“Come on, I’m not being late because of you two!” all of the way there.
“Alright class, lesson is over. Return your textbooks to the front and hand all borrowed equipment back to me. Yes, I’m talking to you, Ziurdos.” Our physics teacher, Miss Mufisa sat at her desk, leaning back on her old, creaky chair and resting the back of it on the blackboard that we never used. She was eyeing up the class who were all moving around, returning supplies, textbooks and other bits and bobs to the front.
“Hey, Azura, over here!” Some boys I’d never spoken to at the back of the class were beckoning me over, and they looked kinda serious, so I got up and approached them, brushing my pigtails again. I recall they’d had to stay in the year they were in last year because the teachers felt they weren’t ready to move up.
“What do you need?” I asked politely, and a boy with blonde and black gelled up hair pointed over to the door.
“Ya’ know that girl over there?” He asked, and I looked over at the doorway into the classroom to see a grey-haired girl with particularly baggy clothing leaving the classroom, concealing her scarf with her hands the best she could. A boy from across the room, dressed similarly to the girl, looked over at us and focused intently. This girl looked really mysterious, yet frail at the same time, as if she was hiding a dark secret.
“I can’t say yes… why?” I asked curiously, widening my eyes and tilting my head a little to the right., and I imagined I must’ve looked like a cute little dork.
“Hard to say for certain, Mitsuna, but she seems to have some obsession of staring at you in class.” Another boy with facial features sharp as a knife whispered to me eerily, and at that point I knew they were just messing with me.
“Ugh! Go away, creeps! Why can’t you just move up to next year already!”” I said and turned around as they burst out laughing, the girl in the doorway turning around to study the commotion for a brief second, before walking away into the distance. I stomped off, out of the classroom. And I saw Medys and my friend Persia Orbisula talking to Thanatos Lamia, Medys’ older brother, and he looked rather pale from something.
“I just wanted to tell you, sis. I’m not feeling too well, so you may have to take my place, if you’re up to it. I don’t want you overburdening yourself.” He said to Medys, as she hugged him with a sorrowful looking face.
“Of course I’ll do it, you certainly can’t if you’re ill!” She said, squeezing him tightly as Persia stared with daggers in her eyes. We all knew too well Persia had feelings for Thanatos, but no-one ever took her seriously, claiming she was ‘teasing him’ to pass her time.
“Look, sis. Mom and dad put lots of stress on us already, so please don’t overdo it. I refuse to let the workload fall onto your back.” He said with feeling in his voice like we’d never heard before. He’d only ever seem to care about anything when Nethermedys was with him. Any other time, he’d sound like he’d watched a kitten die. “Brother hugs, I’ll be fine just for you.” I wanted to say ‘Awww…’, but he’d probably take that the wrong way, and so would Persia.
“Ok, you better not be lying, Thanatos! I don’t wanna lose you to some sickness!” Medys uttered in his brother’s arms, tears rolling down her face.
“Yeah, you can’t leave us, we need people like you here, Thanatos!” Persia said, hoping to join the hug, but Thanatos shook his head in response. The two waited for about a minute before releasing each other, Medys crying in sympathy and Thanatos looking rather worried.
“I’m gonna go. If you need me, I’ll come running from whatever I’m doing, sis.” And with those words he walked away down the corridor, making little to no noise as he faded from sight.
“Man, he’s soo cool…” Persia said, watching the direction he walked in intently, breathing in the aroma he’d left behind with a twisted smile, looking content with the scent alone.
“Hey, you three!” A voice from down the corridor boomed through the room, echoing around the place like ricocheting bullets. “Yo, there’s some heat outside right now, someone creepy lookin’ kid picked a fight with the new girl from the school’s college, ya’ gotta see this!” He ran off as soon as he’d finished, the teachers ignoring what he’d just yelled.
“The teachers really don’t do much, huh?” Persia said, running off to join the boy. “I hope it’s Thanatos, He’ll kick some major ass!” She yelled as she turned the corner to the playground.
“Sigh, should we go, Medys?” I asked, irritated by Persia’s obsession.
“I’m gonna find my brother, it won’t be him fighting.” She said as she walked off down the other way, leaving me alone to choose what to do next. I wanted to report the fight, but the teachers here didn’t really care, and they’d probably be watching it anyway.
I exited to the student playground, and the crowd was truly massive. Everyone was chanting the name Havocilla, and the thought of such a name immediately sent chills down my spine. I pushed past a few people into a gap in the crowd, and was able to see the two fighters clearly. One, evidently the new student, looked to be about 19, and very poorly educated. She was dressed in punk clothes and has hiding something down the back of her shirt from the crowd. This must have been Havocilla. Looking at her gave the the feeling that she wasn’t to be messed with, and that who ever was fighting her would be a fool to try. Looking over to the right of the circle of heartless observers, I saw, the girl in the doorway from earlier?! She looked like she wouldn’t stand a chance!
“Feelin’ lucky, nerd? You better be!” Havocilla growled angrily, swaggering over to the girl, but she stood her ground valiantly.
“Quiet.” She uttered without any signs of fear, the chanting of names almost drowning her out. She readied her fists and beckoned her over, narrowing her eyes in raw focus.
“Cheeky little, come here!” Havocilla was easily angered, unfortunately for her opponent, and things quickly turned into a nightmare for her. Within mere seconds, her arm was being twisted backwards to the point of breaking the bone, her scarf tightened around her throat to prevent her from breathing, her shins repeatedly kicked to the point of them turning black and blue with bruises. The crowd was loving every minute of this, cheering and jumping around, pumping their fists in the air like it was a rock concert, but I couldn’t take it. It was all too much for me, and it must have been ten times worse for whoever decided to try Havocilla on for size. I couldn’t see her face, but I’m certain she must have been crying, screaming in pain and for the oxygen she was being deprived of.
“Hey Kryuin, you must be proud a’ her, right? No one better mess with you, huh?” A rather atrociously dressed girl next to me said to a small yet scary looking lad next to me, and he turned to face her.
“I don’t need my sisters help, I’ll put anyone down who messes with me!” He spat on the floor next to me, and I knew I wouldn’t be comfortable in these sibling’s presence.
“The hell do ya’ think you are, little girl?!” Havocilla yelled angrily down her victim’s ear, and I knew I could no longer stay and watch this.
“Hey, that’s enough!” I yelled, and the people looked at me and moved out of the way, whispering various things behind me as I moved into the ring of students. Apart from the whispers, the crowd went absolutely silent. I was shivering, but I knew I had to stand my ground.
“She outta her mind?” I heard as I approached the two, and pulled the scarf from around the girls neck, watching in sorrow as she gasped heavily for the gift of air.
“And who’re you, exactly?! You want some too?!” She looked at me, and her face up close looked like a snarling bull, ready to take me down my merely running at me.
“I’m Mitsuna Azura, and this isn’t right!” I yelled, looking at her with scared but determined eyes.
“Oh yeah? Is THIS right?” She said with the inferno of hell burning in her eyes as she kicked her square in the stomach, winding her and forcing her to attempt to fall to the floor, but the arm-lock prevented this.
“You’re sick, Havocilla! Pick on someone your own size!” I had no idea why I was doing this, I was a goner and I knew it, but why was I so determined? She released her arm and watched her drop to the concrete floor, hitting her nose hard. The crowd all said “Oooohh…” in unison. Then she turned to face me!
“You’ve got serious lady-balls for a pretty girl. I can respect that. Too bad you’re a justice freak, huh?”
Justice freak? I would’a lost it at that point, but I held it inside by a thread of repression, knowing the consequences were not worth it. “So, why’d you wanna save this girl, huh? ‘Cause bullyin’ ain’t right?” She asked maliciously, and I could sense the sharpness in her voice, in every word, every syllable.
“Why else would I? You’ve got to be some low stage of low, picking on those younger than you!” And at that point I knew I’d released the beast she’d been saving for the girl that was almost dying before me.
“Tell me ya’ ain’t all talk. You gotta have some fight in ya’! You’re boring me and the crowd!” I backed up, but the crowd cheered loudly and clapped chanting both mine and Havocilla’s name, and I knew exactly what they wanted. I looked around at their faces, and they were filed with excitement, but not a single one was familiar. They wanted to see me end up like the girl on the floor at Havocilla’s knees, bloody and beaten, but not without a fight. They wouldn’t settle for a simple beating, they wanted some resistance, and I knew I couldn’t bring myself to fight. “Whad’da ya’ say, people?! Mitsuna vs Me, what do we want?!” She raised her fist into the air, and the crowd continued to chant the words she’d said…
“Fight, fight, fight, fight!” Cheering and chanting flooded the crowd and I knew there was no way out of this.
I’d have to fight Havocilla.
It was just like any other time. I’d just lie in the bed and sleep. With my arms crossed, let over right, and my left palm over my the back of my right hand. My let foot over my right foot, and deep music playing, then I can cleanse my mind of today’s patients. But that boy’s mind was messed up, no doubt about it. The thoughts were strange, like no others I’d ever felt, and I can’t wait to lose them. I must climb into bed, and shift my will over to the Angelic Army, and they will remedy my suffering. After all, there are no emotions that cannot be taken away for good, for all fade in time before they are worth calling true memories…