If I were to ask myself what would scare me the most, I’d usually say something generic. For instances sake, I’ll say generic things like spiders, fire or dying. But sometimes it’s not the ‘real things’ that are the most fear inducing.
Take fame. It’s masked by a façade of being accepted. Veiled by the love of being known. It’s everything most people would ever wish for. Tie that in with the money to support your family for generations to some, and you’ve seen the crescent of the waxing moon that is growing fame.
But fame costs. Effort to begin with. Time and effort is slowly consumed by doing what everyone else loves but you’re falling out of love with. Your interest in 100,000 people you barely even know crushed the love you once felt for your daughter and partner, the weight of so many strangers is too much to bear for anyone.
Heck, I’ve heard things like fame actually depress people and draw them to the other side. The joy passes like a shadow under the streetlamps in the night. But the negativity persists for as long as you work to get rid of it. Strange how sacrificing what you think makes you happy can make you happier.
So, older, wiser me. You ask why I write these things? Remember I’m a credulous adolescent right now. I wanna remind myself, should I ever find myself scared of something that’s not physical, that there’s always more than the easy way out.
Enough of that, played online with Nyx today. They seemed ok with my absence, which is good. I was worried they’d be mad cuz I’d ‘left’. Nothing interesting to report, just thought I’d leave this lil’ reminder here for my future self.