Yourself

Well I’ve been on my travels and am able to bring more of an interesting outlook on life than last time. Not that it matters.

I think the sun’s on cooldown over where I live; it’s been blaring heat non-stop for the past week or so, and to be honest I’ve loved it. Not so much the light, but the heat has been incredible. But today, it sits behind greyed, dreary clouds, and I’m half expecting a downpour like there always is after everything bright decides to give in.

But it’s been a window to go outside and actually do things with my friends. For one, I couldn’t go out in the winter because I detest the cold. I don’t know what it is, but being cold is just horrific to me. My friends are the type not to go out in the rain as well, so that meant I had time to actually meet up with them as a group, as opposed to individually at their places.

Funny thing, actually. My sister wanted to attend that concert that was blown up the other day. Scary to think that I could have been an only child if she’d have went. Even more scary to think of how many people were actually afflicted by it. I’ve never liked big groups of people, and a lack of trust is one of many reasons why.

But enough of that, we’re being attacked enough. Cyber attacks on hospitals, bombings, dare I say politics in general, we’ve had a rough ride to say the least. And have we opened our eyes at all? Do we see things the way we’re wanted to see them? I can only sigh in response.

This happens every time, I swear. It’s just a journal. There’s no need for all this deep, thought-invoking stuff.

But I guess I enjoy writing it.

 

Yourself

There’s a certain feeling you get when you’re supposed to be at home at 2:30, and you end up home at 9:30. If I were a vampire my skin would be burnt to a pile of ashes that would scatter in the wind, lighting an inferno wherever they may scatter.

Those ashes happened to scatter within a larger radius, meaning I’ve been all over the place today. Everything has been so higgledy-piggledy that I forget what I even did with my day. I remember eating, having a friend over, and my friend being punched in the face. On accident.

Don’t ask how it happened. I’m still trying to piece it together myself.

So now I’m home, writing this, resting my aching legs and writing.

Oh that does remind me, another car decided it wanted to blow up. This one was in the middle of the road though, and actually caused a bit of a blockage. No-one seemed to care though, but what else did I expect?

Now, what else to write about..?

I’m sorry, I don’t really have much else to say today. I’ll compensate next time, I promise.

 

 

Yourself

You know that feeling when you finally play a game you’ve been unable to play for a very long time, only to find out it’s completely different than what you remembered? The rules all changed, it looks different and you just can’t seem to get into it like you used to?

Read More »

Yourself

Today I went out to see my old friends. We went to a nice big restaurant and booked a huge table for the lot of us.

All four of us.

Funny seeing families with their kids running outside, grazing their knees and just soaking up the sun. Heck if that were me, I’d ask where the nearest plug socket was and pack my PC. I’d happily be a vampire if it meant I never had to leave my room again.

Meanwhile we all sat devouring steak and vegetables and desserts and calories higher than the population count of China. I’m unfortunately not blessed with a fast metabolism (Despite my friends asking if I’m anorexic) so if I get fat, so be it.

Caught my reflection for the first time in months. (No reflective surfaces in my house) Is it just me that sees demons in their eyes when they see them? Everyone else’s eyes look sweet, innocent, pretty. And then there’s mine that look ready to murder a person if looks could kill.

I’ve developed the habit of avoiding eye contact because of this. It burns my eyes to stare at another’s; it’s like my sins are searing into their own eyes, and I feel the pain of the transfer. I don’t wanna corrupt that innocence in other people’s eyes.

I think sleep would be a good idea; the whole “I’m tired and really deep” thing is happening again.

 

 

 

 

 

Yourself

I had an odd thought today. Sprung right outta nowhere for no reason whatsoever. Heck, nothing I did was even related to what it’s about.

I’ve been thinking about immortality, and what it truly means to be immortalized. They reckon by the 2030’s, we can live forever thanks to technology. They also say our minds will be saved to cloud storage. Same place all your “private” messages are stored, I’m sure… Talk about conspiracy.

But is that really immortality? There’s many names that have gone down in history as immortal, and those people are long deceased. From the well depicted heroes such as Martin Luther King Jr., to the wickedly portrayed dictators like Adolf Hitler, and the victims of presidential regicide like JFK, those names will be spoken for eternity. No questions asked.

I render some people immortal myself. James Sullivan (The Rev) will always have a special place in my heart, and he’s passed on quite recently. In my opinion, that’s the true definition of immortality: For one’s memory and spirit to live on forever, for good or bad.

What part of someone wants to be physically immortal? To live through an eternity and a half of trauma, loss and tragedy must suck. Have fun when the universe collapses; you’re gonna be bored outta your mind.

Oh, and don’t forget to pay your taxes. A life sentence in prison won’t be pretty if your life never ends.

By the way, my day was boring so this is what you’re getting instead. Hope it suffices.