Yourself

Today I went out to see my old friends. We went to a nice big restaurant and booked a huge table for the lot of us.

All four of us.

Funny seeing families with their kids running outside, grazing their knees and just soaking up the sun. Heck if that were me, I’d ask where the nearest plug socket was and pack my PC. I’d happily be a vampire if it meant I never had to leave my room again.

Meanwhile we all sat devouring steak and vegetables and desserts and calories higher than the population count of China. I’m unfortunately not blessed with a fast metabolism (Despite my friends asking if I’m anorexic) so if I get fat, so be it.

Caught my reflection for the first time in months. (No reflective surfaces in my house) Is it just me that sees demons in their eyes when they see them? Everyone else’s eyes look sweet, innocent, pretty. And then there’s mine that look ready to murder a person if looks could kill.

I’ve developed the habit of avoiding eye contact because of this. It burns my eyes to stare at another’s; it’s like my sins are searing into their own eyes, and I feel the pain of the transfer. I don’t wanna corrupt that innocence in other people’s eyes.

I think sleep would be a good idea; the whole “I’m tired and really deep” thing is happening again.

 

 

 

 

 

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